The Barkers are Done

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Yet another MTV “reality” show couple is calling it quits. Travis Barker of Blink-182 has filed for divorce from his “beauty queen”/crappy actress/golddigger wife, Shanna Moakler after less than two years of marriage. They have two kids together, Landon (2 yrs.) and Alabama (8 mos.). Shanna also has a daughter, Atiana (7 yrs.) whose baby daddy is boxer, Oscar De La Hoya.

Most of you are probably wondering who the hell these people are. They starred in a show called “Meet the Barkers” which I admit I watched. Not because I liked it, but because these people are so unlikeable and stupid, I just couldn’t stop watching. No need to watch the reruns – here’s the lowdown. In their time with the couple, MTV caught about 12,000 hours of Shanna sleeping all day while the nanny took care of her kids. When he wasn’t on tour, her emaciated, dirty snake/rat looking husband-thing, Travis Barker, would show up. His eyes were usually red and glazed over from what must have been the best weed ever. Shanna would complain about Travis never being home, they’d call each other stupid pet names like “Woofa Oofa,” Shanna couldn’t/wouldn’t cook, Shanna would spend money, they’d have sex we couldn’t watch, they had the most retarded conversations ever, they got drunk a lot, Travis would go to work and Shanna went back to sleep again until Travis came home. And that was just the first season! Exciting, right?! So it was pretty much just like “Newlyweds,” only dumber and with smaller boobs. Travis Barker is pretty much what Nick Lachey would look like if you deflated him and ran him through the wood chipper a couple times. Shanna Moakler is what Jessica Simpson would look like if she didn’t have a penis.