Scarlett Johansson is Fine

When Reebok held a press conference to introduce Scarlett Johansson as the new face and body of the new sports line, Scarlett Hearts Reebok, I’m sure they’re weren’t planning to reveal everything that Scarlett did.

Unveiled as the global new face of sportswear firm Reebok, Miss Johansson displayed the dreaded dimpled skin that, it appears, almost no woman is immune from. Dressed in a skimpy outfit which hid nothing, she exposed her less than perfect thighs at the launch, which is ironically supposed to be based on the actress’s “sporty” look.”

All you have to do is look at this post to realize I could care less about some cellulite on Scarlett Johannson’s thigh. It’s cellulite, not leprosy. The last time I checked, every woman has it, or at least that’s what every woman tells me. And since we all know that it’s impossible for women to lie, my plan to pin Scarlett’s knees to her ears has no reason not to go on as scheduled.