Paris Hilton Has Low Standards

The last time I coaxed a vermin out from behind a dumpster and made out with it was last night so I’m a little worried it was the same guy Paris Hilton has her mouth on here. As far as I know, these pictures aren’t from today, so I may very well have hooked up with Paris Hilton’s sloppy seconds. And that’s only slightly less scary than being strapped to a spinning wheel while a blindfolded drunk man with no fingers throws knives at me. And it’s also only slightly less sexy.