Don’t Lose Naomi Campbell’s Designer Jeans

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Naomi Campbell is being sued again for assaulting yet another employee. This time the employee filed a civil suit yesterday accusing Campbell of personal injury, employment discrimination, civil assault and battery.

The maid, Gaby Gibson, told the New York Post in April that Campbell whacked her in the back of the head when she was unable to find a pair of black designer jeans. “She said it was to teach me a lesson,” Gibson told the tabloid, which said Gibson worked in Campbell’s Park Avenue in Manhattan apartment for three months.”

Anyone who’s worked for Naomi Campbell and wasn’t assaulted by her should take offense. It would seem as though this is a normal sort of greeting or term of endearment from Naomi – like kissing each cheek and calling you ‘dahling’ or ‘sweetums’. If you worked for Naomi and when she kicked your ass she didn’t draw blood, you should feel more insulted because Naomi didn’t even care enough about you to properly injure you. So remember, if you ever meet Naomi Campbell, don’t insult her with a ‘hello’ and a handshake. She likes it rough. A swift uppercut to her chin or a shiv to her gut is more polite in this circumstance. They don’t call me the “Goddess of Etiquette” for nothing, you know.

Yes, I’ve used these (NSFW) pictures before, but you’ll get over it.