Britney Shouldn’t Be Allowed To Dress Herself

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Here are some pictures of Britney Spears feeling sorry for herself after Sean P.’s rescue from what could have been yet another head injury yesterday. Is she mocking me with that outfit? I know I’ve told her a thousand times to put on a damn bra, but what the hell is that? You’re not Madonna, Britney, and this isn’t the Blonde Ambition Tour. Bras go under the clothing (same goes for your thong). They serve a purpose, and that’s to help prevent those boobs of yours from sinking further south and popping off at your knees. The last time I saw someone look this sloppy and dirty, they were panhandling on Haight Ashbury. Jerry’s dead, Brit. Move on.

For the record, the real reason for Britney’s blunder yesterday has less to do with the paparazzi and more to do with wearing these ridiculous shoes and pants that are about nine feet too long.