Paris Hilton Thinks Her Friends Are Funny

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Brandon Davis, whose only claim to fame is inheriting money from his billionaire oil tycoon grandfather, having sex with Mischa Barton and hanging out with fellow useless socialites, went on a tirade about Lindsay Lohan the other night to the paparazzi as Paris Hilton, Nicky Hilton and various hangers-on laughed at his comedic brilliance.

You can watch the video here at TMZ.

The following are a few things he said about Lindsay Lohan (edited for language):

“Lindsay Lohan has got the stinkiest f***in’ orange sweaty vagina anyone has ever seen.”

“[Lindsay’s vagina] sh*ts out freckles, it’s orange and it smells like diarrhea.”

“Her dad’s hotter than her.”

“[Lindsay’s vagina] is like an orange tree.”

“Lindsay Lohan has a fire crotch.”

“She has freckles coming out of her vagina and her clitoris is 7 feet long.”

He may be a dumb, sweaty donkey, but is he really that far off about Lindsay Lohan? I mean, most of us don’t hang with this “cool crowd” in L.A., but Lindsay’s had sex with most of them at this point, so maybe these are just well known facts around there. Kinda like how everyone knows Tom Cruise is gay and Cameron Diaz kicks puppies and killed J.F.K.