Kenny Chesney has boobs

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Most of my time is spent either smooching supermodels or dominating fight clubs, so I don’t really have time to confirm every source and verify every story that gets submitted to us. And here’s one of those stories now, about the new Mr. Renee Zellwegger and his promising future as a transvestite. The reader didn’t include a real name, but they seem pretty smart, as many of the words were spelled correctly, so I’ll go ahead and guarantee that the story after the jump is 100 percent true:

“Since Kenny Chesney has been in recent news, I thought I’d share this little piece of info…

Last summer I was in Nashville eating dinner with a good friend who works out with Chesney’s ex-trainer. Apparently, the trainer said Kenny has pectoral implants, in other words, Kenny has a boob job! Ironically, he can’t actually lift heavy object due to the implants. I’m sure if you peruse through photos of Chesney you’ll find quite a dramatic difference from the days when he was first beginning to present day. My friend, a musician who writes songs for several well-known country artists, claims that Kenny is like the ‘Britney Spears of country music’. He really isn’t that great of a singer and everyone makes fun of him.

As a native Knoxvillian, I know a lot of people who grew up with Kenny… and no one likes him. Let’s just say he glorifies the term ‘white trash.’

Also, his father, a gym coach at a local primary school, tells dirty jokes and makes highly inappropriate comments to all the female employees (one of them being my mother). He’s a very classy individual.”

All credit to ‘Abs’ for the story. Especially if it’s all a pack of horrible lies.