Guy Has Broken His Jaw 5 Times And Paid Almost $63K To Look Like An Elf

Screengrab: YouTube/This Morning

“I was born to be an elf.” Um, what are seven words no father ever wants to hear, Alex?

According to The Sun, an Argentinian man joined hosts Holly Willoughby and Phillip Schofield on This Morning, and for about six minutes, he told them about the numerous surgeries and jaw-breakings that he has endured to live out his lifelong dream of turning himself into an elf.

No, seriously. Check it out.

Way to go, Barbie girl. This is all your fault.

Luis Padron told Holly and Phillip that the surgeries he has dropped almost $63,000 on so far in South Korea have made him what is apparently known in the business as “trans-species.” Not only has Padron had his jaw broken in five different places, but he has also paid for his ears to be “cut apart and reshaped” as well as “liposuction on his jaw, a nose job and laser skin bleaching.”

It feels like yesterday when I was like this. Soon, I will be a better version of myself. Happy holidays everyone!

A post shared by Luis Padron – THE ELF (@luispadron.elf) on

Padron has also changed his eye color…wait for it…six freaking times now, and he’s thinking about undergoing a procedure in India that could turn them some kind of crystal blue. Although, there is a chance that he could go blind during the surgery, so he’s still just “thinking about it.”

In a related story, the Doomsday Clock is now just two minutes from midnight.

The end is near, people: Girl Spends $1400 Of Parents’ Money Every Month To Look Like ‘Human Barbie’