Guy Gets Kicked in the Head by Passing Train Conductor

Wait, didn’t the same thing happen to that kid everybody was looking for in Stand By Me?

One would think you could live a long and prosperous life by following three simple rules: mind your own business, pay your bills, and, oh yeah, don’t stand too close to the train tracks.

Jared Michael didn’t listen to the third rule, and it probably should have cost him his life on a recent trip to Peru. Instead, this moron’s near fatal attempt to take a selfie has netted almost 13 million views since he posted it three days ago on YouTube:

Guy Gets Kicked in the Head by Passing Train Conductor

There has been some speculation that the video is a hoax, given that Michael was taking a video selfie instead of a picture along with the fact that it is the only video on his YouTube channel. But in a recent interview, Michael insisted that the video was 100 percent real, saying that it was “more shocking than it was painful.”

Either way, Michael is lucky the train conductor wasn’t Chuck Norris or he’d be dead. Like, really dead.

She’s not a bright one either: Watch as This Woman Almost Gets Crushed by a Train