Another summer has passed, classes are filling up with students and suddenly you’re all alone at the beach. Now what? Check out the best things about September for a clue on what to do next.
No. 10 - Final Summer Flings
If there’s one great loss that every man experiences amidst the entrance of a cool autumn breeze, it’s the covering of shiny, smooth stems and toned midriffs of the beautiful women out there. So whether you’re heading to the beach for one last summer hurrah or scanning the Internet for some last-minute summer loving, do it quick because before you know it, they’ll be covered in silly hats and ugly sweaters without a single theme party to go to.
No. 9 - Better Breakfast Month
As a tribute to Breaking Bad’s Walter Jr., we offer readers a nicely timed acknowledgement of Better Breakfast Month, a full 30-day cycle of healthy morning meals including protein and nutrition from eggs and fresh fruit. Although we don’t support Walt Jr. eating waffles and bacon three meals a day, every day, we do support a well-balanced breakfast, a strong start to the day and the notorious "Flynn" finding out his dad’s a meth cook just before he meets his demise.
No. 8 - International Day of Peace (Sept. 21)
If we could all take a day to stop and talk this stuff out, perhaps the world could clean itself up a bit. International Day of Peace rests on the final day of summer, and like any good end of an era, we could use a fresh start.
Although the word “peace” can be interpreted several ways, maybe it’s a good day to focus on the individual self. Wake up early and appreciate the things around you, maybe trying some light meditation and find a little inner peace, be it a bike ride, quick swim outside while you can or just a long walk. From there, you might find yourself projecting that positive energy towards others, and the more people who do it, the better the day will become. Start small and work big — that’s how we'll get there as a whole.
No. 7 - Back to School, Fool
The scent of blossoming adolescence, beer funnels and fraternal initiations all roll into one sexy back-to-school sack lunch your mother would never have packed for you. Now that the school bells are ringing, it’s time to get back into the spirit of the semester, which is to say sleeping past your alarm, sleeping in strangers’ rooms or just waking up on the front lawn of the campus security building.
However you intend to spend your parents’ hard-earned money within the confines of your fancy educational institution is up to you. Just keep in mind that having the free time to learn as much as you want is a rare thing in the real world, so focus on what drives you wild and then enter the workforce like a speeding greyhound and not a college burnout with an Adderall dependency.
No. 6 - Prostate Cancer Awareness Month
Despite Movember being the mustache-riding support month we all know for men’s cancer awareness, September is actually the official month of awareness for prostate cancer. If you ask us, every month should be dedicated to the cause, mostly because all men like having a good excuse for their unbecoming dirt lip.
Let this time be used wisely to think about men's health and have yourself checked, and if nothing else, get together with a bunch of your pals and start feeling around. If something feels strange, which it probably will, don’t be afraid to mention it. Maybe save the prostate exam for a professional.
No. 5 - National Recovery Month
Conveniently placed at the end of summer — so as not to kill our buzzes — September is the proud recipient of the Alcohol and Drug Recovery Month sticker. Although drug addiction is nothing to scoff at, you more than likely had your fair share of bobbing for apples this summer, only the tub was filled with beer and there were no apples.
Take a moment to sober up, grab your wherewithal — we know it’s tough with football underway — and slow your beer bashing down for a minute. Take a good look around and see if anything needs tending to, like your starving pets or your girlfriend. Get yourself back on track, take care of business, then you’re free to resume your depraved madness.
No. 4 - Fall Begins (Sept. 22)
For much of the northern half of the planet, it’s about to become less about sunblock and tan lines and more about saran-wrapping your windows before it’s too cold to feel your fingers, but not just yet. The end of September is designated for the start of fall, a turning of the leaves and with any luck, a turning over of new leaves.
Like a shitty horoscope might say, now might be a good time to soak up what’s left of that feel-good summer and shift focus back into work and doing some good things while the sun starts to fade on our days in the shade. You want to know how to cook a suckling pig for a little fall festival filled with good autumn ales? No time like the present. Just save room for Thanksgiving; it’ll be here in a blink.
No. 3 - Labor Day (Sept. 2)
If this past summer wasn’t enough for you to get in all the summer activities of grilling, beer drinking and scaring off the neighbors, you get one last stab at it. Memorial Day is like the start of the race with everybody finding their summer stride at Fourth of July, which makes Labor Day the home stretch. If you were thinking of holding back, dressing in a shirt for once and not wearing your lunch on your sleeve, think again, because it’s the last-chance saloon and everybody is about to close their doors for the fall.
No. 2 - The "Breaking Bad" Finale (Sept. 29)
This is it. It’s hard to say goodbye to such great characters, like a good book you wish had more pages, but the time has come to end “Breaking Bad” in the carefully delivered, overly intense manner it was meant to have.
Many people have their predictions on how it all ends, but one thing is for certain — it’s going to be intense. Here’s hoping for a few things to happen: Skyler dying several prolonged horrible deaths in slow motion; Jesse making it out on top and going back to school to learn more about woodworking; and Walter Jr. overdosing on breakfast foods with nobody around who knows the Heimlich maneuver. However it goes down for Walt, you have to hope there will be some redemption in it for him. Happy viewing, and may the best prediction win!
Next: Breaking Bad Spinoffs
NFL Season Kickoff (Sept. 5)
September means getting the boys together, yelling at the television and treating your home like a bordello of brotherly love with a nice buffet. Yes, the NFL regular season is back and so is your need to skip church and get rowdy on a Sunday morning.
Beginning on Thursday, September 5, the Super Bowl champion Baltimore Ravens will go up against Peyton Manning's Denver Broncos. After kickoff night, most of the first weekend will follow-up on Sunday, September 8 with big match-ups like Green Bay versus San Francisco. Put on your shoulder pads and start tackling your girlfriend around the house because it’s time for some hard hitting, boys.