My mom used to yell at me for eating Hot Pockets all the time. She said it was the worst food in existence. Well guess what, mom? You were sadly mistaken. We’ve searched the globe (aka browsed the internet for a few minutes) and put together the 15 most creepy, disgusting, WTF food and drinks that you will ever see. I hope you haven’t eaten recently, because if so, it’ll be making a comeback very soon.
Octopus Ice Cream
Was anyone really begging for a combination of exotic seafood with a frozen dessert? That tiny octopus looks a little too happy on the lid. I guess he figures it’s a safe bet he won’t be eaten anytime soon since he’s now covered in Neapolitan. If this, by some horrible chance, is your type of thing, it’s available in Japan. Good luck with that.
From the book Semenology: The Semen Bartender’s Handbook comes the most bizarre drink you’ll probably see all day. This isn’t a play on words, it’s actually semen-based recipes for cocktails. Wait, that’s not the word I should have used there. If this doesn’t deter alcoholism, then it may be too late for you.
That doesn’t look too bad, right? Well the smell is like rotted, spoiled milk and inside the cheese are a bunch of live maggots. The taste is described as more of a burn in your mouth than a flavor, which is what I always look for in a cheese. Casu Marzu is a little hard to come by as it is illegal in Sardinia and only sold on the black market. I won’t even buy cheese that’s close to its expiration date, so maggot cheese sold in a back alley isn’t really what I’m looking for.
Elephant Dung Beer
How many times have you been drinking with the boys and said “This beer is alright, but I wish it contained more elephant dung.” Well your disgusting prayers have been answered! Sankt Gallen, a Japanese brewery, created this and it sold out in just a few hours. That’s right struggling small business owners, this guy made elephant poop beer and made a ton of money. Enjoy your day!
This one probably doesn’t have a disgusting taste, but was there really a big demand for desserts that looks like the cover of that awful Limp Bizkit album? These pure Belgian chocolates are formally referred to as the Edible Anus. Why, England? Why?
This one might go too far. The cooking process includes incubating the egg until the duck inside develops almost fully, and then it gets boiled alive. If you’re thinking you may want to eat Darkwing Duck’s lost child, you’re going to have to travel to Cambodia or the Philippines where they’re sold on the street. Why are you still looking at this? Scroll away!
Remember when college kids were drinking beer through their rear ends and calling it buttchugging? Well, this couple has taken it in a new direction and started making coffee enemas. That’s right, up to five times per day they stick a tube in and take in a pot of coffee rectally. What’s the old Folgers commercial? The best part of waking up is coffee in your butt.
Three Lizard Liquor
This is commonly made in Chinese and Vietnamese villages, but I feel like somebody had a big jug of alcohol, some lizards climbed into it and died, and he was so drunk he just went with it. I don’t want to even touch this, not to mention drink it.
Oh great, a boiled sheep’s head! While it’s a more common dish in the Middle East, specifically Iraq and Egypt, I don’t see Applebee’s adding this to their 2 for $20 menu anytime soon. If it’s any consolation, the one part that people usually don’t eat are the eyeballs. Because that would be gross, right?
There’s no way that’s really what’s in the can, right? Who was in charge of removing the fish anuses? What does your resume have to consist of to land the job of fish anus extractor and where can I apply?
This Asian concoction is believed to help with hair loss, muscle pain, and even impotence. I highly doubt that’s true because Jake “The Snake” Roberts had his boa constrictor for years and his hair is a disaster. Just stick with rum and coke.
Gold Poop Pills
While this isn’t exactly a food, we had to include this absurd item. Basically for $425, you can buy 20 pills that are filled with gold leafs. After a few hours they’ll pass through your system and turn your #2 into a #24k. This is perfect for the wealthy gentlemen who loves to show off his droppings, but always wished it could be a little more fancy.
All Day Breakfast
Seriously, who chose that picture for the can? I can’t see anyone looking at that and thinking “Yeah, I want that inside my body!” It gets even worse, because it also includes eggs, which, if my memory is correct, don’t do very well outside of a refrigerator for an extended period of time.
Baby Mouse Wine
No. No, no, no! This is a Chinese health drink. That’s right, HEALTH DRINK. What happens is they drown live baby mice that are no older than three days old and then let it ferment in moonshine for a year. I’m going to start crying. This is seriously making me sad.
Next: Gross Fast Food Items From Around The World
OK fine, we’ll include America’s most common contribution to the disgusting food list and appease my mom. No one knows what exactly lies within a Hot Pocket or how it’s possible for people in their commercials to take one directly out of the microwave and start eating it. They’re overflowing with meat lava at that point. You can’t eat it! Still, at 2am when you’re starving and searching for anything to eat, that old box of beef & cheddar Hot Pockets will be calling your name. And, of course, you’re going to answer.