Tiger Woods and Lindsey Vonn are dating. I know, it's the news you've been waiting all year to hear. But let's dive into this news a little deeper. Tiger Woods is one of the most famous philanderers in the world. So, how does a man who cheated multiple times on his beautiful wife (and mother of his children) get back into a relationship? If I know anything about women (which I don't), I'm sure he had to say the following statements over and over and over and over again to Lindsey before she agreed to start dating him.
1. "I'm not having sex with hookers anymore, I swear."
2. "Porn stars, too. Really."
3. "I've learned my lesson."
4. "Go ahead, look through my phone."
5. "I can't even remember the last time I was in a Hooters."
6. "The sex therapy worked."
7. "I will never cheat on you, I promise."
8. "Vegas waitresses? I haven't texted a Vegas waitress about doing ATM in, like, 5 years."
9. "I promise I will not fuck up Thanksgiving weekend."
10. "I'm not even into large, fake breasts anymore."
11. "I actually trained myself to forget how to sext."
12. "The only dirty talking I want to do is with you, sweetie."
13. "I'll bet you 100 million dollars I won't cheat on you."