I've been to the Playboy Mansion. Twice. And I've seen dozens of Playboy Playmates naked. But of all those naked beauties that I've laid my eyes on, none of them were in person. Somewhere, though, in the back of the brain of every guy making the pages of a Playboy centerfold stick together, is the hope that one day he could get one of them naked in real life. So, with the help of Miss October 2011 Amanda Cerny, I've come up with real-life tips on how to turn a Playmate into your girlfriend.
(Photos courtesy of The Smoking Jacket)
Did it hurt...when you fell from heaven? It's OK to say that, as long as you're intentionally trying to be dumb.
AMANDA CERNY: I think it takes a lot of courage to go up to girls, so if they throw out a cheesy pickup up line that we both know kind of sucks, but they throw it out there anyway to be funny, I think those are the best ones. It's better than someone trying too hard. That's embarrassing.
Act like you've been there before, even though you definitely haven't.
AC: When I meet somebody without them knowing [who I am], there's casual conversation and everything is normal. But then someone will come up and say something like "She's a Playmate" and their eyes just light up and it changes their whole vibe. Some guys will shy away and get intimidated by it and it will overly excite some guys, which can be even worse. But, then you meet someone who is cool with it and thinks it's just interesting that it's part of my life.
As long as you've got your suit and tie, you are one step closer to being Justin Timberlake in her eyes...or Leonardo DiCaprio.
AC: I like a guy who knows how to dress. The first time I met Leonardo DiCaprio was at this karaoke bar in LA and he was in a full suit and tie with his hair slicked back. He looked super handsome. That's the kind of look that's the sexiest. But, I also like a guy who looks good in basketball shorts and is all sweaty and sexy after just working out.
Remember that girls like sex, too!
AC: We're introduced to a bunch of different people and some guys are overly excited to meet a Playmate, so other guys see that and feel like they have to play it cool and take it slow and work hard to be a gentleman. But a little bit of a balance would be good.
But, on the first date, don't whip out your...copy of the magazine.
AC: No that would just be weird. That would be the worst date if that happened.
Go to Facebook, figure out whom her real friends are and get to know them really well. But never tell her you did that, because that's crazy.
AC: I always meet guys in the middle of a nightclub. Just kidding. Usually I meet guys through mutual friends. I feel like I choose good friends and they always surround themselves with good people so I tend to meet guys that way.
Show off your guns, literally.
AC: I'm kind of an adrenaline junkie and I like to do new things – I'm all about the whole bucket list thing – so if there is something on my list that they can choose, that's good. One time I mentioned casually that I had never been to a shooting range before and the guy remembered it so he took me to a shooting range. That was great.
Don't assume she banged Hef. In fact, just don't mention it at all.
AC: A big misconception is the Hef thing. Everybody thinks that if you're a Playmate that you have sex with Hef and that's how you became a Playmate. But, these are the people that know nothing about Playboy. Hef has his girlfriends – and now he's married – who live in the house. For Playmates, he sees photos and approves them for a test shoot and then there is a team of editors who approve those photos and then Hef approves the final centerfold. He's not some gross guy who is approving girls who sleep with him.
Did you Google her just to check out her naked photos the second you met her? Yeah, she knows.
AC: A lot of guys play it off like they haven't seen them and act like they don't know and then they kind of hint at it. I play around with them and don't mention it until they actually say it.
A stiff cocktail isn't necessarily the way to her heart, but it doesn't hurt.
AC: A lot of people think that Playmates are crazy, party girls who blackout all the time, and our lives are all about drinking and going out. We go out for work and sometimes we don't even drink when we do these club appearances.
Understand who she is with her clothes on, and just maybe you'll get to see her with her clothes off.
AC: I'm doing a workout clothing line and branding myself around health and fitness. Plus, I work a lot with my charity in Haiti. I work with the Timkatec orphanage over there, and with my line of activewear that I'm starting, I'm working with local artists to help me with the patterns, so it will be Haiti-inspired. So, I like somebody who cares about their health and who appreciates the life they've been given and wants to actually give back.
For more on Amanda Cerny visit missamandacerny.com. Good news, the site is safe for work, assuming you have a job where they don't care what you do all day.