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    OPERATION NEPTUNE SPEAR

    While many people offered different strategies as to how to effectively retaliate against the terrorist attack of 9/11, few objected to the idea of killing the hell out of Al Qaeda mastermind Osama bin Laden.

    The search for OBL had long been considered stalled and/or pointless before the 2008 election of Barack Obama, who demanded a renewed search for the bearded bastard in June of 2009. Bin Laden was discovered to have been hiding comfortably within ostensible American ally Pakistan. A

    After a concentrated intelligence effort, he was found to be puttering about in a Pakistani manor on the Afghan border. Navy SEALs, quietly stormed OBL’s compound, blew out his evil brains, and dumped him in the ocean within a 12-hour period.

    Conspiracy-minded commentators complain that they never actually got to see bin Laden’s body, but more grounded observers object to the CIA’s phony polio vaccinations—since OBL’s death, independent medical workers from the World Health Organization have been murdered by local militants for their supposed complicity in the killing of bin Laden.