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From cat hair crafts to environmental Nazis, the bizarrely titled tomes in our weird book slideshow prove that no topic is too inane to explore. There’s not only a book out there for everyone… but some for seemingly no one. Click through our favorite bizarre books and consider buying the muskrat enthusiast in your life a present they’ll truly cherish.
How to Date a White Woman: A Practical Guide for Asian Men
Rule #1: Don’t pursue a girl who has previously dated a black man.
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Do-It Yourself Coffins
For do-it yourself murderers…
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Your Three Year Old: Friend or Enemy
We loved the chapter titled “1-2-3 Weee Wish We Used a Condom.”
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Who Cut the Cheese?: A Cultural History of the Fart
The third book on flatulence from a clearly gas-obsessed author.
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Male Delivery: Reproduction, Effeminacy, and Pregnant Men in Early Modern Spain
Given the author had to narrow the focus to early modern Spain, there must be more cases of male delivery than we’d guessed (we’d guessed two, one being "Junior").
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The Big Coloring Book of Vaginas
Porn star—and all-around genius—Annie Sprinkle says this book is, “ideal for people with and without vaginas.”
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Crafting with Cat Hair
One of the 101 more uses for dead cats!
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How to Avoid Huge Ships
You’ll never look at cruising the same way again.
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Does God Ever Speak Through Cats?
Spoiler alert: No, He does not.
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How You Can Bowl Better Using Self-Hypnosis
One reviewer bowled 9 pins above his average after reading this book!
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What Bird Did That? A Driver's Guide to Some Common Birds of North America
If decoding the crap on your windshield sounds appealing, you desperately need to find a hobby.
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The Who’s Who of British Beheading
Senior superlatives for decapitation.
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Anybody Can Be Cool... But Awesome Takes Practice
Awesome also takes Jesus according to this author.
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People with Long Ears: A Practical Guide to Donkey-keeping
You’ll want to be very practical about your completely impractical pet.
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A Cow is Too Much Trouble in Los Angeles
The story of a Mexican family that flees to LA and thinks the city really sucks. Really? After living in Mexico? Clearly not based on a true story.
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The Joyce Lee Method of Scientific Face Exercises
Pump some face iron.
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How to Good-bye Depression: If You Constrict Anus 100 Times Everyday. Malarkey? or Effective Way?
Easily one of the best anti-depressant anus constriction books out there today.
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Shepherd’s Crooks and Walking Sticks
Amazingly more than five pages long.
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Electricity in Gynecology
Written in 1915 when sticking electrodes into vaginas seemed like a good idea.
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A Lust for Window Sills
The next fetish phenomena to hit the mainstream.
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Robots Have No Tails
About a genius who can only work when drunk. In other words, the luckiest dude alive.
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Successful Muskrat Farming
It takes more than having no teeth.
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How to Live with an Idiot: Clueless Creatures and the People Who Love Them
Research shows that four in six people live with an idiot: learn to cope with the idiot hand you’ve been dealt.
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How to Make Love While Conscious
A book that makes Necrophiliacs very angry.
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The Bible & Flying Saucers
Moses and Martians: homeys for life.
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Snow Caves For Fun and Survival
And hibernation.
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A Popular History of British Seaweeds
They don’t mean “popular” in terms of people wanting to read this book.
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101 More Uses for a Dead Cat
Are there even 101 uses for a live cat?
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The Humanure Handbook: A Guide to Composting Human Manure
You had me at human manure.
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Raising Witches
Just your average pagan parenting title.
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The Manga Guide to Calculus
A best selling book in Japan, where they really know how to take the enjoyment out of reading.
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Tattooed Mountain Women and Spoonboxes of Daghestan
Have your cake and eat it too.
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Who Cares About Elderly People?
Written by world’s worst grandchild.
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What Moles Tell You About Yourself
Mainly if you’re going to get skin cancer or not.
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The Stray Shopping Carts of Eastern North America
This author makes an elaborate classification system for abandoned shopping carts because she’s painfully lonely.
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Old Tractors and the Men Who Love Them
You might be a redneck if…
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People Who Don't Know They're Dead: How They Attach Themselves to Unsuspecting Bystanders and What to Do About It
In case The Sixth Sense left too many stones unturned.
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It’s a Squirrel’s Life
This “tale of stress and misunderstanding” finally gives a much-needed voice to the world’s squirrel community.
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How Green Were the Nazis?
You can fault The Third Reich on a lot of things—like genocide, for example—but pollution isn’t one of them.
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Next: The Most Ridiculous SkyMall Products
Bombproof Your Horse
Can your equine survive an explosion? Don’t wait to find out.
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