-
Courtesy of Skymall1 of 31
They can charge for baggage. They can take away our food. But they can never take our SkyMall! When air travel has got you down, the world’s most random catalog is there to lift you up. We flipped through SkyMall’s most recent catalog and picked out the most ridiculous, useless and all-around weird products. Take a gander and consider buying that special someone a holiday gift they’ll never forget … like a yeti lawn sculpture or odor-masking toilet tablets.
1. Tire BowlEat Fruity Pebbles without feeling fruity. You’re a man! Grrrr.
-
Courtesy of Skymall2 of 31
Uncle Sam meets Captain America meets the Mad Hatter. And you meet someone’s fist because you look like an ass.
-
Courtesy of Skymall3 of 31
3. Dragon Table
Made by “noted dragon artist” Gary Chang. Chang rose to dragon art fame thanks to competition from absolutely no one.
-
Courtesy of Skymall4 of 31
For the person in your life who wishes he lived in ancient times, when CD-ROMs were still relevant.
-
Courtesy of Skymall5 of 31
Type so hard you break the goddamn keys!
-
Courtesy of Skymall6 of 31
6. Bacon & Egg Earrings
Every kiss begins with Kay and every slap begins with these.
-
Courtesy of Skymall7 of 31
When Adderall just won’t do and you’re too scared to try cocaine, take Stay Up All Day.
-
Courtesy of Skymall8 of 31
Trim your waistline and rot your teeth right out of your skull!
-
Courtesy of Skymall9 of 31
A sculpture that ensures a neighbor will never come knocking.
-
Courtesy of Skymall10 of 31
Look unique and mentally unbalanced in this hideous button down.
-
Courtesy of Skymall11 of 31
Too much of a wimp to break up with your girlfriend? Don thee now this gay apparel and she’ll run out the door faster than LoLo.
-
Courtesy of Skymall12 of 31
Is that a hammer in your pocket or are you just a useless laggard?
-
Courtesy of Skymall13 of 31
13. Dr. Seuss Cap & Glasses
Inspired by “Oh, the Places You’ll Go,” you can head straight to your parent’s basement with this grad cap, 'cause that’s clearly where you’ll be spending the next few years.
-
Courtesy of Skymall14 of 31
14. Blood Dragon Contemplation Box
The ideal place to store the gun you plan to shoot yourself with.
-
Courtesy of Skymall15 of 31
Herd prostitutes with this ancient pimp cane.
-
Courtesy of Skymall16 of 31
16. Organic Woombie Baby Swaddle
Finally, a newborn straitjacket!
-
Courtesy of Skymall17 of 31
17. Grip-n-Assist Mobility Belt
Help granddaddy out of bed so he can tell racist jokes from every room in the house.
-
Courtesy of Skymall18 of 31
18. iGrow Hair Rejuvenation Laser
Hands-free hair growth, in case you’re not just without hair, but also limbs.
-
Courtesy of Skymall19 of 31
If this product doesn’t cure your hiccups, only digital rectal massage will.
-
Courtesy of Skymall20 of 31
20. Napkin Clip
Who says bibs are just for babies? Wear this at every meal to save shirts and lose friends.
-
Courtesy of Skymall21 of 31
21. You Go Girl
Help your girl shit with confidence! Not only will this dissolving tablet turn her feces fragrant, it’ll soften splashes during extra large deposits in the porcelain bank.
-
Courtesy of Skymall22 of 31
Let Roswell serve your guests. Oh, you don’t have any? Not surprising.
-
Courtesy of Skymall23 of 31
23. Fairy Maiden Tattooed Woman
Add some class to any room.
-
Courtesy of Skymall24 of 31
Why press a button when you can wave a wand in 13 distinct memorized patterns?
-
Courtesy of Skymall25 of 31
If you need this clock, you smoke entirely too much weed.
-
Courtesy of Skymall26 of 31
26. Math Clock
If you want this clock, you smoke entirely too little weed.
-
Courtesy of Skymall27 of 31
Fling your friends around for 30 seconds before running out of both energy and interest.
-
Courtesy of Skymall28 of 31
28. Protein Ketchup
How many times have you thought, "If only ketchup had more protein"? Probably zero.
-
Courtesy of Skymall29 of 31
29. Baby Bottle Kountry Krystal
Suck beer from a nipple then try to convince friends and family that you’re not a pedophile.
-
Courtesy of Skymall30 of 31
30. Tranquil Sounds Oxygen Bar
You’re too special to inhale the same bullshit oxygen that everyone else does.
-
Courtesy of Skymall31 of 31Next: Completely Ridiculous Japanese Products
Failed the bar? It’s probably because you weren’t having enough fun.
RULE No43
Bragging about your hook-ups is bush league. Keep those close to your vest.
Show Comments
Add a Comment
1 Comment
It's an odd product, but your comment is both bigoted and stupid, which is slightly redundant because most bigotry is intrinsically stupid.
November 22 2012 at 7:47 PM Report abuse Permalink rate up rate down Reply