Inappropriately Sexed Up Halloween Costumes

Sexy Finding Nemo

Here’s another “kid stuff” costume given a sexy makeover for no real reason. Finding Nemo is a movie without any sex appeal whatsoever, unless you have a really gross fetish that I don’t want to know about. So what possible reason would there be to make a skin-showing clownfish costume? Do ladies really think that they’re going to bring home a guy who has some kind of emotional attachment to Pixar on Halloween night? This is just weird on so many levels.

Buy it here.

Sexy Optimus Prime

This is just totally inexplicable in just about every way. Making geek culture sexy can certainly work in some circumstances – we’ve seen enough Metroid cosplay to prove that – but this totally inept costume fails on so many levels. First, it’s based on the awful modern movie Optimus Prime, and not the classic cartoon version. Second, having the truck’s windshields right over her boobs is upsetting. And third, this is actually an official, licensed Transformers product. Somebody at Hasbro signed off on this and thought it was cool. 

Sexy Potato Head

We’re starting to really get to the bottom of the barrel with this junk. What would inspire any human being to dress as a sexy version of Mr. Potato Head? If you have sexual thoughts about this classic toy, which first debuted in 1949, you’re probably a pretty scary person. Especially when you remember that it wasn’t plastic – instead, you got a set of metal-pronged facial features that you’d jam right into the flesh of the spud. Not arousing.

Sexy Freddy Krueger

Alluring versions of horror icons are a Halloween condition, but some just work better than others. We’ve all swooned for a hot female vampire, but this foxy Freddy Krueger from A Nightmare On Elm Street is a little inappropriate. If you know anything about Freddy, you know his origin: his mother was assaulted by 100 mental patients, any of whom could be his father. That’s not exactly the kind of thing we want to think about when we’re hitting on a girl at a Halloween party. Imagine the family reunions!

Sexy Honey Badger

Semi-obscure African mustelid the honey badger got a brief spell of Internet fame thanks to a YouTube video extolling its badass approach to life, but does that mean it needs to be a sexy Halloween costume? It absolutely does not, and yet here we are with “Sexy Honey Badger,” a costume for ladies who want to associate themselves with an animal that eats insects, frogs, tortoises, lizards, and rodents. Is an Internet meme really in need of oversexualization?

Buy it here.

Sexy Medical Marijuana Nurse

Sometimes it seems like costume makers are really stretching to make things “sexy” that have no right to be. Have you ever been inside a medical marijuana depository? They’re not exactly hot and happening places, and the nurses sure don’t show this much leg. The other lame thing about this costume is how lazy it is: it’s just a basic nurse costume that somebody put a green leaf on. Can we at least have a little effort displayed?

Sexy Anorexic

If there’s one thing that is the exact opposite of sexy, it’s running to the bathroom to puke up your guts every time you eat a slice of pizza. It seems like the creators of this “Anna Rexia” outfit came up with a horrible pun and just decided to run with it, opening them up to a tidal wave of criticism from the media. The thing is, if you’re a girl, no body type will make wearing this sexy. If you’re curvy, it’ll look out of proportion, and if you’re skinny it won’t be funny. Fail on every level.

Sexy Chinese Maid

As a general rule, racial stereotypes just aren’t sexy. They remind us of a primitive time when we didn’t realize the equality of all humans. But some stereotypes are even dumber than others. Case in point: is “Chinese maid” even a thing? Is it a fetish or something? I’ve heard of “French maid” and that’s pretty hot, but this? It seems like a weak pun on “Made in China” is the joke, but that barely qualifies as a joke. It’s not hot, it’s not funny, and it’s just confusing.

Sexy Chucky Doll

"Hi, she's Chucky. Wanna play?" This costume is somewhat terrifying and just conjures up horrible nightmares from when we were kids.

Sexy Cookie Monster

Once again, Sesame Street is not off limits for ladies looking to spice things up on Halloween in any way imaginable.

Buy it here at Yandy.com.

Sexy Ninja Turtle

Step aside, full-grown men who still want to dress in green jump suits with three of your buddies and pretend to be teenage mutant ninja turtles for a night. You are about to be overshadowed by a pack of beautiful babes who are much more easy to look at, even if they don't have the fighting skills you think you've got.