Glamour-Shot Fails

"The fan in the studio is broken, so just drive around the block really fast with your head sticking out the window."

"My friends call him bad luck. I call them bad friends."

Snoop Dogg's name changed to Snoop Lion, which has given Sponge Dogg the opportunity to make a name for himself on the streets.

"You're seeing someone? Do you have a picture?Oh! Well. Isn't she... lovely?"

"I don't see how you won't get this commercial, man. You just pop on camera."

"I definitely think you'll get a few hits on Cupid.com."

Mark never found a wife, but Snuffles was able to fill an ever-growing hole in his heart dug by his mother's snide comments and blind-date propositions.

"Can you believe this picture?"

"I know. All that money and the photographer's finger was over the lens a little bit."

"This is goin' right over the bed, baby."

"Yeah, the grill is perfect for this shot."

"I stood there for 40 minutes until the light reflecting off of the samurai sword lit the cigarette."

"We lift weights together, which is a very special bond, but we need something else to make this perfect. Do you have any exotic birds, perchance?"

"I want my son to be a cowboy, but a cowboy who is peeing where he shouldn't be peeing."

The Second Amendment is beautiful isn't it?

"I want to look sexy, but I want people to be aware that I can kick some serious ass."

"Comb the sideburns? I don't think so, sir. Who do you think I am, some sort of fairy boy?"

"If you gots it, flaunt it."

"I'm just a regular, everyday guy who likes spy novels and working in the yard. And long, white socks."

"But seriously, can you see that I have chest hair?"

"That's right, look off into the distance. Hold it. Hold it. I love this job."

"Good luck in your audition for... Cinderella you say? Really? You don't think there are any other characters in that story that would be a better fit? Like a relative or something?"

"I'm a huge 'Phantom of the Opera' fan, as you can see."

"Shake the fringe a little bit. Now pretend Indians are attacking, but you're, like, cool with it."

"I think we have conveyed the perfect level of 'dandruffy.'"

"Can you believe it? I've never had dental work."

"I'm auditioning for 'Silence of the Lambs 2.' They said it's sure to get made."

"The jean jacket makes you an everywoman. The glove makes you mysterious."

"Can I have my badges back?"

I bet she can ride a Harley.

"Be an Indian. Be afraid. Who is this white man? Will he hurt me? Use that fear."

"These turned out great, Mr. Stern. What? You aren't Howard Stern?"

"No, no, no. I'm not sending these to anyone. These are just for Lemmy. Just for Lemmy..."

"Do you have any heart earrings? You do? Perfect!"

"I know I'm married now, but I really just love myself."

"It wouldn't work if you didn't wear the leather jacket."

"I don't shoot a ton of S&M poses, but I'm up for anything."

"David, we have 75 shots of you in this exact pose with the guitar. Don't you want anything else? Maybe one of you playing the guitar? Do you play the guitar? Whatever. It's your money."