Nobody does it like mom. Whether it's the smell of the laundry, how the cookies taste or the way the bed is made, she has no equal. Sure you’re a grown man now (kind of), but you still miss the way she does things, and no matter how hard you try to do them just like her, you always come up short. Here is our list of those certain crafts that mom does best, and we’re willing to bet you have a lot more to add.
Stocking Up on Your Favorite Foods
It usually starts a couple of weeks before your visit. She calls incessantly to verify your list of favorite foods and beverages so she will have them all stocked upon your arrival. Maybe your palate has evolved since the days you lived off Capri Sun and Cheetos, but it doesn’t matter. Mom has frozen you in time and you'll gladly play along because while it may feel childish, it makes both of you feel good. And Capri Sun and Cheetos are still pretty awesome.
The difference between you doing the laundry and your mom doing the laundry is like the difference between that hairy guy with the headband you see playing hoops at the gym and Michael Jordan in his prime. Mom’s laundry skills are in a class of their own. She’s operating in her own alternate laundry universe. The level of freshness and softness her clothes attain makes you wonder if she has some secret lab in the basement where she has created her own line of laundry products exclusively for you.
Preparing a Hot Breakfast
As you get older, a hot breakfast is usually reserved for the diner when you’re nursing a hangover. But when Mom is around, she might whip you up some of her special pancakes and even throw in one with a smiley face for old time's sake. Just don’t make the amateur mistake of telling her you don’t usually eat breakfast. That will result in a full brunch that you will have to eat in its entirety. Mom is always looking out for your best interests, but she’s not above the occasional mind game.
Making the Bed
Since you left home, the only times you probably make your bed are when you’re anticipating an overnight guest or when Mom herself is paying you a visit. This is another one of Mom’s skills that only she can do. It starts with the the sheets. They smell perfect and their level of softness makes you angry because yours fall so woefully short. Once Mom has prepped the sheets, the folding and tucking are executed with machine-like precision, making you wonder if she might actually be a cyborg. But once you get in that bed, you wouldn't care if she is a cyborg, because it has never felt so comfortable.
Fixing Your Clothes
When did mom go to Italy and learn how to be a tailor? Because the way she sews your buttons, alters your clothes and salvages the unsalvageable leaves little doubt that she’s mastered this craft along with countless others. While she’s stitching and hemming at speeds that would make a sewing machine jealous, you’re still trying to grasp how the thread actually holds the button onto the shirt.
Cleaning Your Kitchen
Mom comes to visit, and while you’re at work, things are getting done in your apartment. Lots and lot of things. You get home and your kitchen looks like it was sterilized by a crew in hazmat suits. You ask her if she went back in time, found the brand-new version of your 1980’s era stove and swapped it out for your old one. Then, out of the corner of your eye, you see a pair of discarded latex gloves. You‘ve never owned a pair of latex gloves. Where did she get them? Then it hits you like the ending of "The Usual Suspects." She actually brought them with her.
Moms make the best cookies. Even if your mom has given you the recipe and you’ve followed every step while she’s on the phone calmly talking you through it like a terrified passenger landing an airplane, they just don’t taste the same. So the next time you go home, you attempt to make them together, but she takes over, tells you to relax. The next thing you know, you wake up on the couch with a hot plate of cookies in front of you. You start to suspect that she doesn’t want you to know the recipe. Then you shove a cookie in your mouth and stop caring if there‘s a conspiracy afoot because these cookies taste incredible.
Becoming Best Friends With Your Neighbors
You may like most of your neighbors, but there’s always that one older, unfriendly couple who will come knocking when your TV’s volume is over six. During Mom’s visit, you fabricate some errands to run because she’s starting to drive you a little nuts, and when you return, she’s nowhere to be found. You get scared, thinking she’s hatching some evil new plan to improve your life, but then you hear that familiar cackle from the shared wall with the unfriendly neighbors. Minutes later, Mom returns telling you how great the neighbors are, and that she’s going to get coffee with them tomorrow. A couple of days after Mom‘s departure, the neighbors invite you over for dinner, and you can now turn your TV up to 10 without worrying.
Sending You Care Packages
Mom may not have been the best at packing the car, but when it comes to packing your care package, she‘s the best. Besides her ability to use every square inch of the box, there’s her sixth sense of knowing exactly what you need. She'll include her aforementioned cookies that are always in demand, but how did she know you just ran out of razors and dental floss? Did she install sensors in your medicine cabinet that inform her when things run out? That's fine. As long as there are no cameras.
Next: Cherish Thy Wardrobe
Organizing Your Apartment
You never knew how unorganized you were until you left the care of your mother and went out on your own. As you become overwhelmed by decisions like where to put your linens and how to organize the kitchen, you develop a new respect for Mom’s organizational prowess. Yes, you eventually figure these things out, but having Mom do it for you means it will make a whole lot more sense and look a lot better. And as we've covered, this is true for a lot of things.