A Gallery of Horribly Unfortunate Names

"My parents don't read much."

This is the only scenario in which a crowd chanting your name is not helpful.

"I call the defendant-- What? No way! That is not your name? Oh! That is HIL-AR-I-OUS!"

"What do you say, doc? Does it look infected to you?"

God, we love British people.

"My mother's maiden name was Azz. Why do you ask?"

She wanted to be a teacher, but society would not allow it.

"Be really careful when you type in his website's URL. One typo and you'll get some nasty stuff."

"Um, honey? I think I found our realtor."

"Dude, I got a letter from some college, but guess what the recruiter's name was?"

If she had red hair, we would have to be hospitalized. 

"Are you just going to sit there and bury your ass in the sand, Coward? You're a coward, Coward."

Stanley was always apprehensive about opening his own practice. However, after a month with his partner, he decided it was best if he worked alone.

"I hate Halloween."

"Is it going to be hard living with these stiff restrictions, Mr. Weiner? Have you thought about protecting yourself?"

The fact that this man made it through grade school and was able to create a Facebook profile at his age is nothing shy of a miracle.

"I think an exciting name like Flavour will take away from our last name being Balls. I just don't want her to be made fun of."

"Where's big Pusey? I need me some Pusey! Get in there kid!"

His online gambling profiles were all flagged for profanity until they realized that was his actual name.

We bet they regret buying a home phone every minute of their lives.

"Don't take any shit from Takeshita. I know she's good, but this is what we've trained for!"

The kids are saying "hashtag" now.

This dude looks like a Grossweiner.

We wouldn't smile either.

Oh, we bet she's "experienced".

Judge Stroker never made it to the Supreme Court because he could not get through a hearing without at least five people laughing.

"And this is my partner, Dr. LMFAO."

We really hope she chose to hyphenate her name.

"It's like a compliment. He's not really calling you a fat ho."

The other photo is of her child running away from bullies.

"He died sprinting into a sliding glass door."

"I had to demote him back to the minors because fans with kids were starting to complain."

"It was an omen, dude."

Aren't they all?

No matter what degree you receive, no matter what type of medicine you practice, we will always laugh at you if your last name is Weiner.

When did Chris Tucker die?

"We need to switch churches."

"My physical was ... Well, it was weird. I don't really want to talk about it."

For once, when Bart Simpson prank called Moe's Tavern, someone was there to answer.

We'd vote for that guy.

"She should really put her name at the bottom of the page. I can't focus. My eyes keep going back to 'Mangina.'"

"Can we, though?"

"Our son will either be the biggest badass on the planet or a total dork."

"If only she would've lived to accept the royalty checks."