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    The “Totally Bizarre” section of Ebay can be a pretty traumatizing place to spend your Web-surfing time. There is a collection of incredibly odd stuff that can be yours to take home provided that you win the auctions. 

    Why in the hell anyone would want to bid on these items is beyond us, but they sure are entertaining. Also, it will become immediately apparent to you that people who sell crazy things on eBay really love their caps-lock keys. 

    This is a small collection of the weirdest items currently for sale on eBay. 

  • Ebay.com
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    Item: A Wooden Log Coffin

    Description: Log caskets have existed for centuries. They are once again becoming popular for people who believe in "green" burials. I thought constructing a miniature log casket would be fun. Not bragging, but I think it turned out fantastic. I have a few piles of honeysuckle wood behind my garage that I use for firewood. I selected a dry and interesting looking log and the pictures speak for themselves as to how it turned out. I carved the inside of the log out and inserted a SKELETON OCCUPANT.

    Starting Bid: $39.95

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    Item: Haunted Baby Doll With the Spirit of a Neglected Middle Child With Severe Autism

    Description: UP FOR AUCTION IS A HAUNTED ANTIQUE BABY DOLL THAT HAS THE SPIRIT OF A 7 YEAR OLD MIDDLE CHILD WITH AUTISM BY THE NAME OF CANDY. CANDY WAS ALWAYS NEGLECTED BY HER PARENTS BECAUSE THEY FELT ASHAMED OF HER BECAUSE SHE HAD SEVERE AUTISM. CANDY ALWAYS FELT NEGLECTED BECAUSE SHE NOTICED SHE WASNT TREATED LIKE HER YOUNGER BROTHER & OLDER SISTER. SHE ALWAYS FELT LEFT OUT & SHE WAS ALWAYS SAD AND DEPRESSED. THIS BABY DOLL IS VERY ACTIVE & UNIQUE, SHE HATES TO BE NEGLECTED. SHE REQUIRES ALOT OF LOVE AND ATTENTION AND WHEN SHE FEELS SHE IS NOT GETTING IT, SHE WILL NOT LET YOU SLEEP AT NIGHT. SHE WILL FLICKER THE LIGHTS MAKE BANGING NOISES AT NIGHT TO KEEP YOU AWAKE AND THE SPIRIT OF THE DOLL WILL CLIMB INTO YOUR BED AT NIGHT.

    Starting Bid: $24.95
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    Item: Canned Unicorn Meat (butchered unicorn plush inside)

    Description: Take home these 14-ounces of delicious unicorn meat, canned for your convenience Imported from a small independent cannery in County Meath, Ireland. Crunchy horn bits in every bite- an excellent source of Calcium. Tastes like rotisserie chicken but with a hint of marshmallow sweetness. Okay, for real: you can't eat this. It's a dismembered stuffed unicorn in a can.

    Starting Bid: $12.99
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    Item: Someone’s old Doorbell 

    Description: UP FOR AUCTION....MY OLD DOORBELL...ITS JUST THE PUSH BUTTON ITSELF...IT WAS A GREAT DOORBELL ITS BEEN PUSHED BY MANY..EVEN A POLITICIAN OR TWO...  BUT WIFE WANTED SOMETING MORE DECORATIVE...STILL WORKS TOO!!!..ALL YA GOT TO DO IS HOOK IT UP...HAVE A GREAT DAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

    Starting Bid: $0.99
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    Item: Scary Dead Zombie Baby Doll Riding a Skeleton Horse Lamp

    Description: This is a particulary gory piece and is definitely NOT for the squeamish.  Is there nothing that Sean P Rodgers, feature artist for Eli Roth's new Goretorium in Las Vegas, considers sacred?? Apparently not.  This lamp stands approx. 28 inches tall and is constructed from a wood base and horse, plastic or vinyl doll and a fabric lamp shade. A perfect addition to any year-round Halloween decor! All of the craftsmanship and detail you've come to expect from Sean. This piece is static, the horse does not actually rock. This is another piece that could be used in your own personal haunt or as set decoration in a larger commercial venue. Have at it fans!!

    Starting Bid: $250.00
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    Item: Preserved Pig Fetus in a Jar

    Description: 100% REAL-PRESERVED!! ABOUT 7 INCHES LONG!! SHIPPED VACUUM PACKED!! JAR NOT INCLUDED!

    Starting Bid: $36.00
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    Item: Your Message on Some Dude’s Beer Belly 

    Description: Hey,Y'all! The ONE, THE ONLY ORIGINAL REDNECK BEER GUT MAN HERE! I built this vast expanse of pasty white flab 12 ounces at a time! Finally, it occured to me to see it as what it really is: PRIME ADVERTISING SPACE!  Yee-HAW!

    My humongous skin keg would make the perfect backdrop for a MARRIAGE PROPOSAL, a BUSINESS CARD, or an online AD FOR YOUR WEBSITE OR BLOG! THE SKY"S THE LIMIT!!!   Available colors of lettering are red, black, green, and blue. Limit of 20 words. I'll consider a logo if'n it ain't too complex.

    Starting Bid: $4.99
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    Item: Fake Toilet Pee 

    Description: Just released and taking the prank world by storm. Whether you're at home, at a friend’s or at the office, PeePuck gag gift provides days of laughter, frustration and confusion for all. One pee-puck in the toilet reservoir provides days of yellow flushes!

    Starting Bid: $1.89
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    Item: Kangaroo Scrotum Coin Pouch

    Description: Rare 'SUPER SIZE'  Genuine Kangaroo Scrotum Coin Pouch. Wonderful mementos and show pieces, or conversation dropper/stoppers! These have been professionally tanned - beautiful lightweight hard wearing leather embossed with official stamp. These make great gifts - even for Girls (as sweet revenge?) - or can be sold for a profit (they usually fetch a high price)

    Starting Bid: $29.95
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    Item: A Spell That Someone Will Cast on You to Make Your Penis Larger

    Description: 100% Real Spells Cast by Powerful PSYCHIC. This Penis Growing Spell will make your penis Larger, Firmer, Thicker, Stronger Erections. You and your lover will experience many new sexual experiences with this Spell. I will email and let you know after your spell has been cast. I will cast your spell within 48 hours. 

    Starting Bid: $7.99
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    Item: Donation to This Guy

    Description: Donate money to me! Anything helps. Highest bidder will be messaged by me, with the most RANDOM WEIRD story they will ever hear off the top of my head. Guaranteed to make you laugh. 

    Starting Bid: $.01
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    Item: Preserved Pig Heart 

    Description: THIS AUCTION DOES NOT VIOLATE ANY EBAY RULES OR ANY REGULATIONS  IT IS LEGAL TO OWN AND SELL.  THIS IS NOT A HUMAN HEART. THIS HEART CAME FROM A PIG.IT HAS BEEN MADE BY A TAXIDERMY TO LAST A LIFE TIME. 

    Starting Bid: $15.00
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    Item: Mr. Clucker Chicken Willy Warmer

    Description: This is a new handmade crochet willy warmer. Great as a gift, gag gift, bachelor party or send to family or friends in the military. Made from soft yarns. Shaft is 5 1/2" long and pouch is 3" across.  From a smoke free home.

    Starting Bid: $10.00
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    Item: Time Machine 

    Description: I bought this after 3 knee surgerys the help with blood flow on my knee's. I guess it works as a time machine as well? Does it work as a time machine you ask??? Email me if your serious and I will tell my experience with it and you can judge for yourself.  The inventor is Steven L. Gibbs google him for more info.

    Starting Bid: $175.00
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    Next: Ridiculous Japanese Products

    Item: Actor James Woods' Dental Impression Teeth

    Description: Here is a Full Mouth Dental Impression mold casting for actor JAMES WOODS. These were obtained from Dr. Dwork's estate files. The molds were taken for work done on James for the movie ONCE UPON A TIME IN AMERICA. 

    Starting Bid: $99.99