Celebrity Mug Shots

Nick Nolte - DUI

Well, just look at him.

Kiefer Sutherland - Assault

"Sir, could you make the '24' face? There it is!"

Vince Vaughn - Fighting in public

Vaughn was part of a brawl outside a North Carolina bar, a brawl that was so intense that actor Steve Buscemi was stabbed several times. Bescemi looks like the kind of guy who would get stabbed a lot. 

Heather Locklear - Hit and run

She was in 'Melrose Place.' That's all we got.

Gary Coleman - Disorderly conduct

We guarantee they were trying to make him say, "Whatchu talkin' 'bout, Willis?" when this was taken.

Tim Allen - Possession of a pound and a half of cocaine

He could've been sentenced to life, but ratted out 21 others and got off in 2.5 years.

Buzz Lightyear did coke?!

Paris Hilton - Cocaine possession

"That's hawt. Wait, that's not that hawt."

Paul Reubens, aka Pee-wee Herman - Public masturbation in an adult theater

"It's screwy... in cell fourteeeen!"

Haley Joel Osment - DUI and marijuana possession

Guess we know why he saw dead people.

Frank Sinatra - Seduction and adultery, 1938

Some mugshots just make amazing t-shirts.

Curtis Jackson, aka 50 Cent - Hustlin'

"After I got arrested, I stopped hiding it. I was telling my grandmother, 'I sell drugs.'"
--Actual quote from 50 Cent 

Atta boy!

Lindsay Lohan - Being Lindsay Lohan

Remember "The Parent Trap"?

James Brown - Domestic violence

"Hit me! ...and you!"

Joyce DeWitt - DUI

"Come and knock on our door! We've been waiting for you! Where it's her's and her's and her's: three women in a jail cell!"

Hugh Grant - Lewd conduct with a prostitute

Love actually.

Lil Wayne - Criminal possession of a weapon and marijuana

Free Weezy! 

Mel Gibson - For doing lots of stuff

Charles Barkley - Looking for sex during DUI arrest 

"Turrible, turrible, turrible."

Matt Dillon - Speeding

Dillon wasn't arrested for being in "Herbie: Fully Loaded," but easily could have been.

Amanda Bynes - DUI

She claimed that she was fleeing "dancing lobsters."

Andre Rene Roussimoff, aka Andre The Giant - Drug possession

"Anybody want a peanut? Or some blow?"

Knicks Star Carmelo Anthony - DUI

We would do the same if we had to play for the Knicks.

Robert Matthew Van Winkle (seriously), aka Vanilla Ice - Assaulting his wife

Earl Simmons, aka DMX - Driving 102 mph in a 65 mph zone with a suspended license

This could be that mugshot, or it could be from one of his other 10 arrests in the state of Arizona alone. This could basically be a gallery of DMX mugshots.

Sean Combs, aka Puff Daddy, aka P. Diddy, aka Puff, aka Puffy, aka Diddy - Possession of a weapon

Artis Leon Ivey Jr., aka Coolio - Multiple traffic violations

Of course Coolio would get arrested for something lame.

Chris Klein - DUI

We bet in prison he didn't want to be known as "Nova, as in Casanova."

Chris Tucker - Speeding

How has Smokey not gotten arrested for possession?

Deena Nicole Cortese - Disorderly conduct

She was drunk in the street slapping cars as they drove by. Anyone shocked? Anyone? Nope? Good. We are on the same page, America.

Charlie Sheen - Domestic dispute

Remember when "Winning!" was a thing?

Bill Gates - Running a stop sign, 1977

While being detained, Gates told the officer, "You'll thank me for Xbox," to which the officer replied, "Please don't use that foul language, sir."

Marshall Bruce Mathers III, aka Eminem - Weapons charges

They claimed weapons charges were the reason for the arrest but it was actually for his acting in the film "8 Mile."

Macaulay Culkin - Marijuana possession

How else would he have come up with all of those crazy booby traps?

Jamie Pressly - DUI

And for crazy eyes.

John Daly - Being drunk outside Hooters

We laughed for a good four minutes when we found that was the reason. 

John Mayer - Speeding and driving without a license

And for being a tool.

Joshua Jackson - Assualt and public intoxication at a Carolina Hurricanes hockey game

Charlie from "The Mighty Ducks" was fighting at a hockey game? We don't care what the reason was; we've got his back!

Katt Williams - Felony intimidating a witness

Here's the story: A man doing tractor work on Williams' home was attacked by three women. The man called his wife to come pick him up, which we're sure was the most emasculating moment of his life. She arrived and for some reason, Williams blocked their exit with his car.

Khloe Kardashian - DUI

We hate that she is famous.

Robert James Richie, aka Kid Rock - Assault

He has been arrested a few times, but we're hoping this mugshot was from the 2007 arrest that resulted from a brawl outside an Atlanta Waffle House. That one's the funniest.

Kobe Bryant - Alleged sexual assault

Win a few championships and everyone forgets.

Kumari Fulbright - Kidnap and torture of ex-boyfriend

Whoa. We had no idea who this lady was, but apparently she is a psychopathic former beauty queen who tortured her ex-boyfriend.

Larry King - Grand larceny

"Next caller! What? I get only one phone call?"

Michael Jackson - You know why.

Mischa Barton - DUI

She was probably drinking because no one remembers her anymore. 

Offer "Vince" Shlomi, aka The Shamwow Guy- Felony battery

Shlomi here apparently punched a prostitute when she bit his tounge and "would not let go." He was then taken to jail wearing what looks like a hospital gown and a hoodie.

Nick Carter - Resisting and opposing the law

We can't imagine that Backstreet Boy is a good title to have in prison.

OJ Simpson - Armed robbery

And a ton of other stuff, right? Right?!

Robert Sylvester Kelly, aka R. Kelly - 21 counts of sex with a minor

Don't forget public urination!

Rip Torn - Bank robbery

Torn was arrested for entering a Connecticut bank with an unlicensed firearm while under the influence, and forced entry to the closed bank. He also looks exactly like Patches O'Houlihan, his character from "Dodgeball," in this photo.

Robert Downey Jr. - Numerous drug charges

Behind Iron Bars Man?

Lisa Robin Kelly - DUI

Kelly played Eric Foreman's sister on "That '70s Show" before getting fired for her numerous DUIs. Probably for the best. though. The last season was not very good.

Nicole Polizzi, aka Snooki - Disorderly conduct

Snooki made getting arrested in dirty slippers on the beach cool. Great role model for the young girls.

Steve-O - Assault with a weapon

The incident happened more than eight years ago in Canada, but he was arrested in March of 2011 when he was stopped by customs in Canada. Dude, if you got beat up by Steve-O, you should get arrested.

Andy Dick - Drunk in public

He was probably just acting like that ol' wacky Andy Dick that we all love!

Cameron Jibril Thomaz, aka Wiz Khalifa - Marijuana possession

Duh.

Willie Nelson - Marijuana possession

In other news, the sun came out today.

Woody Harrelson - Disorderly conduct 

Again, some mugshots were just meant to be on slick t-shirts.