The Most Ridiculous-Looking Fake Tough Guys on the Internet

Kudos to this guy for figuring out how to make a popsicle look gangsta.

"I got a pocket full of stacks. 17 dollas, mofos. I'm going to Fudruckers!"

"My rap name is Cookie Monstahh, stackin' Chips Ahoy like a boss."

"Just got my GoPhone. 'Bout to send a pic of this laser gun to my homies."

What an ass.

"It's symbolic. Like I'm so rich, I put money in my diapers and stuff. Gangstas aren't potty trained. Everyone knows that."

How many tough guys does it take to make a human Eiffel Tower?

"'Ninja Weapons and Bad Mustaches.' That's the name of the album. I think it's gonna sell real well."

Not pictured: all seven of them trying to lift that bench press. And failing. 

"Show me where your computer is or I'll shoot."

"This eighth-grade dance won't know what hit 'em."

That's not even a gang sign. The kid just has really bad carpal tunnel from playing "Guitar Hero."

Sorry, but guys in Hollister shirts are very easy to replace.

Curtain rods with leafy green pieces of flair are decidedly not gangsta.

"My hobbies include "Guitar Hero," "Rock Band," weaponry, and posing for paintings."

"Dude straight up lives in a pineapple under the sea. Do you feel me? He's doing the damn thing in fruit under water. That's gangsta."

"We'll go brass-knuckle some fools after we play snake on my Nokia."

"Team Edward, biznitch."

"It's ironic. I spent all my money on the bandana."

"The camo works for hunting, but I have to take off the purple hat. Deer aren't Laker fans, apparently."

When your shirt looks like something out of a 1996 Spice Girls video, you're not going to scare anyone.

"I borrowed my girlfriend's lip gloss, because it's important that I am prettier than her."

"Why are you standing like that? Do you have to pee? The bathroom is right there, dude."

"The hat? My grandma knitted it for me. But I'll still mess you up, bro!"

The intimidation factor is significantly lowered when you stand on a box and show the world your weird-looking knees.

"Posted up in front of my grandma's linens drawer!"

"I was raised by the streets. What's that? You like my t-shirt? Thanks, man. It's American Eagle. They have great sales."

"All this ink is expensive. That's why I still live with my moms."

Braces instead of gold fronts = gangsta fail.

You're supposed to flex 90 days after you start the program, not on day No. 1.

"Yeah, they're 40s, but we filled them with Juicy Juice because the real stuff tastes yucky."

"Maybe scoot over a little, Josh. It's less gangsta when your Cetaphil face creams are visible in the corner."

"See, if we all put our fingers together like this, we can make a star."

It's cool to show off your underwear for the ladies. Unless, of course, your underwear has cartoon characters on it. 

"I applied this wallpaper. You don't want none!"

"I like to put the ice cream in the microwave for a few seconds to soften it up. It's a little trick I learned from my mom."

Even the sheets are coming off.

"You don't know nothin' 'bout graphic tees."

"I read somewhere that the more baby blue you wear, the harder you look. Let's go to the mall and walk around slow."