The World's Worst Haircuts

Nothing to see here except my full and complete head of glorious hair. Move along.

His hairline has brought much shame upon his family.

This is footballer Abel Xavier. He pays lots of money to make his hair look like this.

"I want something that screams 'power!'"

"And that's when I heard the barber say, 'Oops.'"

"People always try to look so professional. I'm just a lawyer who is trying to shake up the game."

This corn-row-over is actually genius.

I remember the worst haircut I ever recieved. My father thought that my hair needed a "touch up," so naturally, he felt as qualified as Vidal Sassoon. It ended horribly, but at least it looked better than some of these poor people's terrible haircuts. 

"I really love Tetris, and I want my hair to embrace that love."

"Yeah, I need a shower head with a very gentle massage setting."

"I just got tired of the whole hat charade. Do I want it forward? Do I want it on backward? It was exhausting. This was my only option."

"Be straight with me. How great do I look?"

"Well it won't exactly be a mohawk, but it'll be a something-hawk."

"No, I don't really need any hair gel."

"Include the year so I can remember the worst day of my life as vividly as possible."

"Now I can look like a pedophile from the back!"

The last time I saw Coolio was in the opening to "Kenan and Kel."

"I just rolled out of bed and it was like this."

"It does look pretty bad, but don't cry, dude."

"Business in the front, party in the back and some weird action on the sides."

"I'm taking the chinstrap to a whole new level."

"I'm ready for our wedding photos!"

Dads: Attempting to cut their sons' hair for thousands of years.

"The braids look so good, but maybe do something with the facial hair. Then try the modeling agency again."

"I swear it's all-natural! Feel it!"

Poor Webster.

"The culprit is 5 foot 3 inches. Oh, with the hair? 6 foot 7."

"You know what, Timmy? If this doesn't get those bullies to leave you alone, I don't know what will."

"Will the whole thing fit in the frame? Are you sure? This is really important to me."

"This is how I want the class of '04 to remember me: as a gnarly dude who loved green and braids."

"Did you ask for them to make you look like a penis?"

'This just feels so me!"

"I'm trying to sweeten up my image. That's why I chose cotton-candy coloring."

"Does it make me look intelligent?"

Later that night, he tripped in the club and impaled a stripper.

R.I.P. Destiny

"Coach, I'll be honest, I didn't hear a word you just said."

"I had a full head of hair this afternoon. Damn weed whacker got away from me."

"I want to look fashionable while I'm serving my rape sentence."

"I just, like, don't think people need to see my eyes. I mean, like, what do we even need them for, dude? Do you know what I mean? I'm feelin' pretty messed up right now, dude."

"I think this senior portrait came out great."

"Now that I'm dating again, I thought I would try something fun."

"It's actually a beehive! Ha! I know! Show business, right?"

"I was a really big fan of when Justin Timberlake did it back when he was in 'N Sync. I thought, hell, I'm 40. Let's pull the trigger."

Damn right we look good.

"Some people call it 'clinging to my youth.' I don't know what else to call it, but I think I look good."

"My husband is a big hunter."

"I was going to go checkerboard all the way, but then I thought that might look stupid. I went with the sick highlights instead."

Halfro.

The Friar Tuck look is coming back.

"I'm trying to blossom into a beautiful butterfly, but I'm in that awkward caterpillar stage."

"You won't believe it, but I never shave. It just grows in this way. I do dye it though, yes."

One of those classic, "Dude, I can totally cut your hair" guy friend moments.

God, you're beautiful.

Never turn down something that's free.

"I was about to braid the whole thing, but screw it, man."

"What? I already had a mustache, so what do you suggest I should've done?"

"I'm committed to the rat tail, but I just feel like there's something more I could be embracing here."

"I do love Will Smith. How'd you guess?"

I hate the Patriots. Not the Mel Gibson movie, the NFL team. That movie is badass.

"It cost about $94 dollars."

"If it doesn't look like a spider, you have failed."