Awesome Office Notes

"Maybe if they didn't bring crappy pizza then someone would have been able to finish it."

We never really "get" art.

"So I finally made some progress with Janice from sales."

Everything? Like walls, toilets, cars, lions? That is one hell of a commitment. 

"She lost me at Claudia Cantaloupe."

"Dude did you read this?"

"I got about halfway through and just drank the chocolate milk anyway. They made it sound so good."

We think there is a greater issue at hand here. The machines are literate.

"She had enough energy to write a menacing note before 5 a.m. I can barely force myself to shave."

"That's, like, never happened to me."

"Take the 99 percent!"

The copier: the Achilles heel of corporate America

"Damn it. I forgot Dave from accounting."

Pending fourth note: "Sometimes it isn't about taste!"

"I may need to take a sick day tomorrow."

"Yeah, right." (flush)

We never understood why the Hamburglar stole burgers from McDonalds. He pretty much worked there. They must not give a great employee discount.

"Pray to the cookie gods for Double Stuffed!"

"I already have 'em anyway."

"I've never felt so proper after a Hot Pocket."

"I don't really like the IT guys."

John 7:38 "I am actually more of a Diet Dr. Pepper man."

What if someone had told him not to make the iPhone?

We think we found out why no one wants Liam Neeson on the set.

"You wanna go grab a smoke? Maybe smash a few mayo packets? You know, the usual stuff."

"Unidentified meat isn't usually my thing."

They should probably have a meeting about this.

"That's just not cool. The milk is probably bad now."

"Morale is pretty low. I saw Doug pee in that earlier."

"I've just been handing them out in the parking lot. You know, as a joke. But deep down I'm so serious that I'm on the border of bringing an uzi in here."

We don't know what is weirder. the fact that their may be human urine in the fridge, or the way she writes the letter R.

Also, who eats pizza that way?

"Don't do anything crazy, man. Put it down. I'll grab the sponge."

Nothing like a little inner-office racism.

"Christine has too much time on her hands."

"What if it's true?"

"How sick would it be if it did though?"

Janice has gone out of her way to make small talk microscopic talk. 

"They wouldn't put it in there if it could kill someone, right?"

Bigger issue: why are people spitting in their own food?

And again.

"I've always found that with a running start and a jump you can staple a ton of paper together in one shot."

"I'm not very religious but I have to try one of those Frappucion Bars!"

"By all means, move the table to save yourself."

"I don't hate America. I just never know which way to make the roll turn."

"And be deprived of bread art like this? I don't think so!"

Passive-aggressive environmentalism.

Where is this office and what the hell happened there 12 days ago?

"I just stood there screaming for like two hours."

"Do what Theo Huxtable says, man."

"I went back to my fourth-grade roots and decided that some Word Art would really drive this point home."