The Funniest Newspaper Fails

Apparently they couldn't afford a second picture.

"Can I interest you in some Catholic Cleaning Spray or perhaps some Hindu Hand Towels?"

"What about all that stork talk?"

The following week, they had a real-estate sales contest to benefit the homeless.

If he'd had a dictionary around, this wouldn't have happened.

TGIF.

"I know the little-kids-in-lab-coats thing was cute, but we need to hire some educated doctors."

"Really? I can't commit to anything?"

Ironically, everyone skipped class anyway.

Totally, the jackhammers will harm your baby.

Click here for more pregnancy fails.

"I want it to look like they'll get a deal, but I don't want us to get burned either."

It removes some other stuff too.

"Rapes are up. Well done, gentlemen!"

Test scores improove with phlying cullers!

Click here to see more hilariously ironic photos.

If he is going to jail anyway, he might as well get a little buzz going.

If only someone had the balls to do this to Bill Belichick.

Insert your own "A Christmas Story" joke here.

"You don't like Mr. Whiskers? We'll just see about this..."

"Do you really expect me to clean this up?"

Oh! Everything is so much more clear now.

"You guys want to see if McDonalds is hiring?"

"Wait. You can go to jail for butt crack?" -- plumbers everywhere

If only prom night were this simple.

Because when you hit a "tree branch" in your Lexus, you don't pull over to check it out.

"You know what, honey? I know you wanted to hyphenate your name, but I really don't think that's a good idea."

The boys in blue were still bitter about a terrible Valentine's Day.

"Yes, you should alert the press! Wait. I was kidding."

"So we're looking for a Jawa from 'Star Wars.'"

"Hey, I'm your new attorney. I heard you had some trouble with your last one. In your file here it says... Oh, crap."

"Her name was Samantha Adams."

"Looks like someone needs a pet down."

"Alright, empty the register. Wait. This isn't a Kay Jewelers anymore?"

Come to think of it, yesterday's McDouble did taste a little funny.

"Do you know what would be a great title?"

"Actually, I'm a little proud." -- her father

"I really got a kick out of this article." -- one-legged woman

"I'd be willing to bet 50 bucks that when we pull in, this guy has a DeLorean in a mall parking lot."

Are you sure they were psychics and not just normal people?

"Are you sure you want that to be your opening statement?"

This was actually a headline during the Revolutionary War as well.

"She knocked over my Legos and stuff. If I could go back in time..."

By way of subtle insults.

Why did it have to be between these two?

It wasn't even Halloween.

"I meant, did your dog eat your homework."

Common sense shows that it drops off at 20.

"There's been a pretty serious threat. What did we have on the schedule today? The threat meeting? Damn."

Actually, a ton of people have been playing with his balls.

We don't care that he's a free saftey; tight end is way better.

"We have to decide: are we racist cops or sexist cops? We can't be both. " -- police chief

"Crushed skull? That's fine, but how's my leg, man? We have that softball game tomorrow." 

That's one tough duck.

"I spent time in jail for murdering and dismembering my wife" is a great slogan for an eatery.

I've always wondered what a millionaire is.