One man, one woman. That’s how a lot of people would define marriage. (Unlike the Mormons of yesteryear who believed in one man, one woman, another woman, and maybe a few more women.) Other people may define marriage as an obsolete tradition based on treating daughters as property. And for most Hollywood couples, marriage is a fad, as much as the grapefruit diet.
Love is patient. Love is kind. And sometimes Love is just plain weird.
10. Man Marries Pillow
Lee Jin-gyu fell in love with his “dakimakura,” a huggable pillow with an anime character printed on the side. What character is it that could steal a human’s heart? Fate Testarossa from the series "Mahou Shoujo Lyrical Nanoha." Sure enough, he married it (complete with wedding dress) in a ceremony with a priest.
9. Woman Marries the Eiffel Tower
Known as the "Woman Who Married the Eiffel Tower", Erika La Tour Eiffel even legally changed her name. Erika pledged to love, honor and obey the Eiffel Tower in a ceremony attended by friends. She suffers from Objectum Sexuality, where individuals develop feelings of love and attraction to inanimate objects.
8. Woman Loves RollercoasterIf you figured all these weird marriages are only for foreigners, think again. America serves up the freak just as much as the rest of the world. Amy, another example of objectum sexuality, has had relationships with a variety of things—church organs, a banister—but her true love is a gondola ride called “1001 Nachts” at Knoebels Amusement Park in Elysburg, Pa.
Although she said she intended to marry it, she may have gotten cold feet. We’re still waiting for the invitation.
7. Woman Marries CobraIf men are pigs, are snakes better?
Bimbala Das fell in love with a snake, but not just an ordinary snake, a cobra. She claims it always came out to drink when she left milk for it. So, per Hindu rituals, in 2006 with a procession of nearly 2,000 people, she married it. Congratulations?
6. Man Marries DollMeet Everard Cunion, a real-life “Lars and the Real Girl.” In 2000, 55-year-old Cunion bought Rebecca, an artificial woman. Later on he added to his collection, and he now lives with 12 realistic dolls. Cunion took things a step further in 2008 when he tied the knot to Caroline, his favorite. If he’s got all those other “girlfriends,” she probably swings both ways.
5. Man Marries GoatIn some cultures, if you’re caught stealing, they cut off your hand. In others, if you’re caught having “relations” with an animal, they make you marry it. Welcome to Sudan!
In 2006, a Mr. Alifi caught a Charles Tombe having sex with his goat. Rather than take the man to the police, Alifi went to the village elders who decided to make Tombe pay a dowry of 15,000 Sudanese dinars (about $50) to Alifi and wed the goat to Tombe as punishment.
The punishment is based on the tradition that if a man is caught sleeping with a girl, he is ordered to marry her to save the girl’s honor.
Sadly, in 2007, the goat died after choking on a plastic bag. With Tombe newly single, other goats should be on the alert.
4. Woman Marries DolphinSharon Tendler lived out her Flipper fantasy.
In 2005, Sharon Tendler, a millionaire from London, married a 35-year-old male dolphin named Cindy, short for Cinderella. The ceremony was sealed with mackerel and held in the Israeli resort town of Eilat.
“I’m the happiest girl on Earth,” the bride said. “I made a dream come true, and I am not a pervert."
It was a short marriage. Unfortunately, in 2006, Cindy the dolphin passed away. No word from the grieving spouse.
3. Man Marries Video GameSome guys love their video games a little too much.
With a name right out of "2001: A Space Odyssey," a Japanese man, Sal9000, married Nene Aengasaki. Again, so far, so good.
Except that Nene isn’t human. She’s a cute, doe-eyed video-game character from the Nintendo DS dating sim game, “Love Plus.” The marriage reinforces Japan’s preeminence in the world of all things weird.
By the way, Sal9000 didn’t give his real name because he didn’t want people to think he was crazy. Why would we ever think that?
2. Man Marries Corpse
This isn’t from a Tim Burton movie. This “Corpse Bride” actually happened. In 2012, Deff Yingyuen, a Thai television director, married his girlfriend of 10 years, Sarinya “Anne” Kamsook. So far, so good. Ranks a “10” on the Normal Scale.
Except for the fact she was dead.
It sounds almost romantic: man and woman intend to marry, but woman unexpectedly dies. Guilt-ridden at not having done enough for his girlfriend while she was alive, man throws combination wedding/funeral. Man puts ring on woman’s finger.
Creepy or sweet?
Next: Crazy: Hollywood's Quickest Marriages
1. Man Marries Himself
That’s what happened in 2007 when Liu Ye, then 39, married himself in China. He spoke his vows to a life-sized foam cutout photo of himself wearing a red bridal gown. Said Lui, “There were many reasons for marrying myself, but mainly to express my dissatisfaction with reality.”
We have to wonder: if he sleeps with anyone, is that considered adultery?