By Max Miller
May 13, 2012
It's almost beach season. It's time to make sure you are in shape and have the perfect suit for trips to the shore.
As you work toward that goal, please consider this gallery as an example of what not to do this summer.
Take this guy for example. Who even knew Gallagher wore thongs?
This is not an arrest. It's initiation to be in the Village People.
Little Timmy turned and faced the ocean as quickly as he could, but the image had burned itself into his retinas and he knew he would be in therapy for the rest of his life.
The burkini: skankiest bathing suit in the Middle East.
This is a rare, candid shot of Scorpion and Sub-Zero from "Mortal Kombat" on vacation.
Earlier that morning, Olga's grandchildren bet her she couldn't fit into the bathing suit she used to wear in high school.
If you think this is bad, you should see the front of the bathing suit.
This is just one of the many reasons why you shouldn't pass out first when you're drinking with friends.
"Hey, Mom and Dad, how come there are no pictures of your honeymoon in your wedding album?"
Despite how buoyant she clearly is, Sandra was hesitant to go too far into the water.
When you're rich and famous, you can do anything you damn well please.
Not really sure which of the things in this photo has the better chance of catching crabs, the mesh bathing suit or the woman wearing it.
Can you guess which part of the bathing suit has coconuts on it?
In his defense, he has no idea where he is.
Serena Williams, despite having her bathing suit torn apart by a bengal tiger earlier that day, relaxes at the beach.
After battling with Frodo over the ring for so long, Gollum decided it was time for a little R & R.
Originally, she wanted to go without the mesh top, but was worried it would be too revealing.
Honey, does this fat make my bathing suit look small?
Whoops. How did this get in here? This is supposed to go into our "What You Should Wear to the Beach" gallery.
"Frank! Frank, come back. We were only kidding when we asked you just how cold the water was!"
For all the girls who have ever seen Gwar live and thought, "I'd like to dress like that at the beach."
We know what you're thinking. That girl is ridiculously hot.
Just in case you've been wondering what to do with all of your CDs now that music has gone digital.
We apologize for not censoring the entire picture.
When you're his age, you're just not gonna care at all either.
Get a weekly dose of MANDATORY by signing up for our newsletter.
Uhm... who decided #7 was terrible? it's delish!