Bachelor Party No-Nos

Don't be sober.

For every shot you refuse to take with the rest of the crew, each one of them should be allowed to line up and proceed to backhand you as hard as he can. 

Guarantee by the next round, you'll be all for taking the shot. Peer pressure isn't just for high-school kids. 

Don’t bring any women who won’t take their clothes off for money.

Don’t wear cheesy matching t-shirts.

If you are the best man in charge of planning the bachelor party, don’t print matching t-shirts for all of the guys in attendance to wear. “I Survived Kyle’s Bachelor Party” is not anywhere near funny when it’s on one person, let alone 15.

Also, stop hanging out with guys named Kyle. 

Don't try to avoid pitching in for lap dances.

Or anything else, for that matter. This is an event to celebrate your boy! It is part of the guy code to make sure he has the greatest night of his life. If you’re going to be that one friend who doesn’t even contribute a dime, then you should expect a series of backhands like your friend who won't take any shots.

Don’t fall in love with a stripper.

This is going to happen. Ask T-Pain. We’re just warning you ahead of time to try and at least do your best to refrain from letting it happen. Nothing good can come from this. Especially if you’re the groom. You’re either going to come back with an empty heart or an empty wallet. Most likely it'll be both.

Don't be a buzzkill.

The only thing that should kill the buzz of a good bachelor party weekend is having to go home. If you’re the kind of guy who has to check in with his wife/girlfriend constantly or has to refrain from certain activities she might not approve of, then you, friend, are a buzzkill. Either cut the leash for the night or stay home and let the rest of us have fun. 

Don’t pass out first.

This is a rule you should have learned in high school. Maybe it was just harmless sharpied phallic images across your forehead back then. But you’re grown men now, so the stakes have been raised. If you pass out first, don’t be surprised if you wake up in Tijuana on stage co-starring in a donkey show. 

Don’t talk about what happened with anyone other than the attendees.

The first rule of bachelor party is you do not talk about bachelor party.

If the bachelor party is done the right way, there are going to be some things that go down that you just don’t want the folks back home to ever hear about. Like how your friends convinced drunk you to get naked and pose for a stock photo to be used on a men's lifestyle website in a piece about bachelor party no-nos.