The World's Worst Shoes

There is a lot to take in here. In addition to those deplorable horse hooves, there are the pistol heels. And everything's spray painted gold, of course. It's that classy touch that ensures ladies can wear these to the most sophisticated black-tie events. 

Talk about walking around bear foot. 

Um, should that water be that yellow?

These are Nikes, so even though they're held together by staples and clothes pins, they probably still retail for $150. 

These are either for a kangaroo or a very dexterous boxer.

As if these weren't disgusting enough, notice the fluffy tufts of gnarly toe hair tacked on for extra realism. They probably smell bad, too.

It's like looking at an M.C. Escher painting that gives you sciatica. 

The perfect Puma for space travel. 

Some people prefer function over fashion in their footwear. And even those people would never wear these in public.

Finally, a shoe for women who just don't have enough time to change from their swim workout gear to their formal wear. 

This seems to be taking recycling a bit too far. 

OK, we won't lie. We kind of like these. 

Just when you thought Tevas couldn't get any less fashionable.

Air Jordans are the most popular sneakers in the universe. It's safe to say Air Jordan high heels will not enjoy the same success.

These are based on the shoes Marty McFly wears in 2015 in "Back to the Future Part II." They will be just as ugly in three years. 

Fun fact: those chains were used to lock up the children who eventually made those shoes. 

This is what's known as (chaise) loungewear.

These look like stripper shoes, so it's fitting that there's a woman clinging to a pole on the heel.

It's not totally clear if this is high-end fashion or just a splint to stabilize a sprained ankle. 

For all the cross-training rodeo clowns out there, we've found the shoe for you.

This is what would happen if Prince and the late Rick James teamed up for a women's shoe line. Or a men's shoe line. 

Ideal for fashion-conscious women living in high-flood-risk areas.