What Your Facial Hair Says About You

Neatly Groomed Full Beard

Who's rocked it? Kenny Rogers, Bob Vila, Dos Equis' "Most Interesting Man in the World"

Verdict: If you wear your facial hair like "The Most Interesting Man In The World," you’ve seen it all and are at total ease with your place in the world.

Keeping a full-grown beard in check takes close attention to detail. Neglect it too much and it quickly slips into Full-On Scraggly Beard territory, which a man of this caliber avoids at all costs. The full beard is a distinguished look, which explains why it's so popular with college professors and other highfalutin types. Beards tend to make a guy look older, so you can be certain the wearer isn't clinging to his youth. That kind of wisdom indicates that a person with a neatly-groomed beard is someone who probably has a few stories to tell, especially if there's some gray in it.

Tightly Trimmed Goatee

Who's rocked it? 1990s MLB players, men who follow NASCAR, Larry the Cable Guy

Verdict: If you wear your facial hair like Larry the Cable Guy, you are willing to experiment in life.

The tightly-trimmed goatee is often worn reluctantly. It has the ability to add character, shape, and definition where there may not be any, which is often the case for men with chubby faces or gentle chins. Of course there are plenty of exceptions (like Dwaye "The Rock" Johnson), but in the end this style shows a lack of commitment to facial hair in general. It's often a gateway to a full beard later down the road or the wearer will eventually lose interest and shave it all together. Either way, this facial hair style is for a man still figuring out his own face.

Chinstrap

Who's rocked it? Cast members of Jersey Shore, men who actually spend time at the Jersey Shore, Chris Daughtry

Verdict: If you wear your facial hair like Chris Daughtry, you know what you want and are willing to do what you need to get it.

The chinstrap isn't so much about the way it looks. Rather, it's something done to prove just how much a guy cares about the way he looks. The chinstrap takes meticulous grooming. Both the shaved areas and the hair need to be trimmed with hyper-accuracy otherwise it can quickly slip into neckbeard territory, which is unacceptable. Because of this, chinstrap wearers are generally very concerned with their appearance. It's not that they're vain, per se (though the overlap rate is high), but it's a clear indicator that physical appearance is of key importance.

Mustache

Who's rocked it? Tom Selleck, Rollie Fingers, Ron Burgundy, Mario and Luigi

Verdict: If you wear your facial hair like Tom Selleck, you are very confident but don’t take yourself too seriously.

More often than not, if you encounter a young man with a mustache, he's grown it ironically. It's common among hipsters, bet-losers and other men who don't mind sporting a facial hair style that many consider "creepy." But, because of that, you can usually assume the wearer is a fair sport who doesn't mind some good-hearted ribbing. It's also sometimes indicative of a person in a transitional period. For instance, the mustache is arrived at when a man decides to trim his beard, or a teenage boy is trying to work up to a manly beard. Either way, you shouldn't expect a mustache to endure on a person's face for a long period of time unless they're a holdover from the time when mustaches were considered more "cool" and less "creep."

Huge Sideburns

Who's rocked it? Elvis, Neil Young, Hugh Jackman as Wolverine, Rockabillies

Verdict: If you wear your facial hair like vintage Elvis, you are a throwback to a previous generation. You also know your way around a toolbox.

A big set of sideburns bridges the gap between traditional hairstyle and facial growth. Generally speaking, it implies a guy cares so much for his own hair that he wants it to keep going down onto his face. This indicates that the wearer is a confident person, as if they're saying, "My hair is so awesome, it needs more space on my face." Because of its retro-appeal, it can also imply that the guy sporting the chops is a bit of a throwback who may subscribe to a lifestyle from the past. It's common in the hot-rod world, so there's a decent chance a guy with a set of chops can rebuild a carburetor with the best of 'em.

Soul Patch

Who's rocked it? Joey Greco, Howie Mandel, guys from the '60s who also wore berets

Verdict: If you wear your facial hair like Howie Mandel, you are creative but afraid of commitment.

The soul patch is widely regarded as the lowest form of facial hair, and for good reason. That tiny patch of hair shows almost total lack of commitment, which indicates the person is likely creative in nature, but also unreliable. It's often found on people who work jobs that don't allow facial hair, but they like to push the boundaries just a little. That indicates a rebellious streak, but not a deep one. As a personality indicator, it has much in common with a single earring.

Intentional Stubble

Who's rocked it? Ryan Gosling, Gerard Butler, Colin Farrell

Verdict: If you wear your facial hair like Colin Farrell, you project an aloof appearance but in reality, you pay attention to detail.

Closely monitored and trimmed stubble indicates confidence. While the wearer will likely project an outwardly laid-back manner, it's likely that every aspect of their look and personality is carefully considered. They're usually up on trends and style, making them good wing men when out. They also aren't likely to be in relationships, as girlfriends and wives tend to discourage scruff.

Unintentional Stubble

Who's rocked it? Al Pacino, Elijah Wood, any guy after a bender

Verdict: If you wear your facial hair like Elijah Wood, you are still maturing and enjoy having a good time, no matter what day of the week it is.

The five-o'clock shadow is often worn like a badge of honor by guys who have spent the whole night cavorting. But, it's rarely a good look. The wearer is often one who believes that they look a lot better than they do. There's a general sense of delusion, especially if they wear it to work or to an important event. They often know that they should shave but still don't, indicating that they're not in their most reliable state. It's best to give these guys some space and approach them after stubble has been shaved off, unless you feel like offering up a bunch of high-fives and listening to exaggerated stories about the previous night.