The concept of designer jeans has pretty much ruined men's fashion. Jeans were invented as comfortable work pants that were sturdy enough to handle just about anything. How they got transformed into super-expensive pants for fancy boys is a national tragedy. Check out these 10 pairs of pants that are so over the top, they'll make your head spin.
If you weren’t alive for the disco era but want to get in on the fashion, these gold-plated jeans from Kohzo Denim will be right up your alley. Made from an organic cotton blend, the pants are washed and gently distressed before being covered from waist to ankle in an 18k gold finish. Justin Bieber wore a pair to some awards show, in case you were wondering who would be crazy and rich enough to buy these ($875 retail).
Painting on jeans is nothing new, but Winkers takes that concept to a new, hilarious level. These designer jeans are decorated with a pair of eyes directly below the buttcheeks, so when you walk it looks like they're winking at passers-by. Why exactly you'd want your ass to wink is a mystery. They also sell pairs that make it look like a duck is quacking and a director's slate is snapping.
Glow In The Dark Jeans
Do you miss raves? Do you even remember raves? Bring back the days of obnoxious house music and adult pacifiers with these insane jeans from Naked & Famous Denim. Permeated with a luminescent resin, they look like an ordinary pair of jeans during the day, but once the lights go out they glow like crazy.
Damien Hirst Levi’s
English artist Damien Hirst is one of those dudes who everybody has an opinion about. Whether you think he's a genius or a hack, he certainly makes a pile of cash off of his shenanigans. In 2009, he teamed up with Levi’s to create eight pairs of "spin jeans"--made in the same machine that creates his spin paintings--for a list price of $27,000. Sure, they look like something you’d make at the county fair, but they're by Damien Hirst!
Dussault Trashed Denim
With a price tag of $250,000 (that's not a typo), these jeans aren't for everyone. Or probably anyone. These dungarees are dyed 13 times, painted, distressed and specially washed to give them their unique bedraggled look. They’re then accented with 1080 grams of 18-carat gold, shaped into skulls, studs and other goofy crap. Throw in a bunch of diamonds and rubies and you've got the most expensive jeans ever made.
Scratch & Sniff Jeans
Canadian denim company Naked & Famous is going to land on this list a few times, as they push the jeans envelope in good ways and bad. One of their most recent creations is a pair of jeans that is covered with a scratch-and-sniff coating that smells like raspberries. Microcapsules of fragrance are all over the pants, so you can ask a lady to smell your crotch and it totally won't be weird at all.
If you're just so over thread and sewing, these high-tech trousers are for you. Made in the Netherlands, Gluejeans eschew traditional manufacturing methods, making every pair by hand and sealing the seams with a strip of boldly-colored glue. Why is glue better than traditional stitching? They have no answer for that, but it must be true because these jeans cost $540.
World’s Heaviest Jeans
Naked & Famous Denim strikes again with a pair of jeans that they declare to be the heaviest ever manufactured. Made from 32-ounce selvedge denim, these pants are so stiff that they can stand up on their own without a pair of legs in them. Naked & Famous made only 138 pairs, and they're admittedly uncomfortable.
Momotaro Mini Denim
Perhaps you’re looking for a pair of jeans that’s more portable. These Momotaro miniature heritage denim jeans are the smallest pair of selvedge denim pants ever made at 15 centimeters tall. They even have a wee leather patch and whiskering on the back of the knee, as if a tiny person wore them. They have those in Japan, right?
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Stainless Steel Jeans
One last entry from Naked & Famous to close out this list. These metallic jeans used their standard selvedge denim but incorporated a 10-percent mix of Riken stainless steel wire into the weave. Amazingly, they didn't feel much heavier, but the steel gives the pants a vicious crease. They’ll probably also get you into some trouble at the airport. But maybe you're just looking for an excuse to take off your pants...